Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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