How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize