Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
