Pregnant stripper...not hot.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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