So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Randomize
