3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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