I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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