I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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