covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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