love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
