no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
