Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's never too late to be topless.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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