I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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