He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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