This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
