i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
