He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
