You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
In the future we'll all be gay
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
