belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
