Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
