my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
