dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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