OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
