Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
