i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize