I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
