New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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