you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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