I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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