Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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