Small penises have feelings too.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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