you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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