I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize