the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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