This show inspires me to have sex in space
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
