I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
