So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
