i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
