I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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