whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Boobs speak an international language.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
