no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
