No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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