just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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