She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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