I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
