She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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