I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize