and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
