Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
