and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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