I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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