Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
