Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
