I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
