I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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