I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
