Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mitch99 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"

Fav 13 4947 1364
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.

Fav 13 4118 1214
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.

Fav 9 6688 1356
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

Fav 2 1847 2950
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

Fav 4 7139 1389
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

Fav 24 13084 2008
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

Fav 5 2226 903
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

Fav 4 1137 595
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?

Fav 0 24 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT