i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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