The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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