I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
