I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize