Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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