as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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