How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
